Will You PLEASE Get To The Point

"I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I write
and I understand."

Chinese Proverb

That says it about as well as you can say it. Add that to novelist Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s thought that “Writing is thinking,” and you’ve got the gist of how the writing process opens the door to creative and analytical cogitation in ways that spontaneous phone or in-person exchanges can never hope to achieve.

What brought that home for me recently was a comment from a fellow communications trainer about a need she has seen in the corporate and nonprofit world: Writing effective requests. I do a lot of business writing and presentation skills training with federal agencies, and she hit the right note with that one. It’s tough to get a response when you don’t word the request precisely with a specific goal in mind.

Here is a federal agency’s instructions to field offices:

“Special actions have been necessitated to reduce the adverse impact on our military and space requirements, postal operations, and public necessity, and in order to cooperate in these essential objectives, it is requested that you instruct your employees to defer any travel by air that is not a matter of immediate necessity until such time as full operation of air travel is restored.”

And this from the purchasing manager at a construction company in Virginia:

“E-mails – that are received from Jim and I are not either getting open or not being responded to. I wanted to let everyone know that when Jim and I are sending out e-mails (example- who is to be picking up parcels) I am wanting for who ever the e-mail goes to to respond back to the e-mail. Its important that Jim and I knows that the person, intended, had read the e-mail. This gives us an acknowledgement that the task is being completed. I am asking for a simple little 2 sec. Note that says ‘ok,’ ‘I got it’, or Alright.’

Simply put, the first example can be written this way: “Tell your staff to postpone non-essential air travel.” Then, in a sentence or two, a thoughtful boss could explain why. As to the second -- other than egregious grammar and quality control (self-editing) abuses -- the solution is: “Please respond to emails promptly.” The “writers” in the “before” examples risk losing the message, not to mention modeling bureaucratic wordiness for the staff, particularly in the first instance.

But here’s the real rub: In both cases, the message, the reason for writing in the first place, doesn’t happen until the end. When I was doing some writing and presentation training for six or seven SEALs down in Virginia Beach (they were on staff duty between overseas deployments), they mentioned a just-right acronym that I’ve passed on to every class since then. They picked it up at the Pentagon and -- typical of that five-sided Puzzle Palace which I used to cover for Business Week -- whoever coined it may have missed the overall impression of “BLUF.” But you can’t beat its intended meaning: “bottom line up front.”

Last May, during a writing class at the Energy Department in DC, I wrote that one on a flip chart, and in the back of the room one leader of the agency’s training department nodded vigorously; they were all too aware of the problem. The point is that in a workplace setting, you owe your busy readers one consideration above all others: Get to the point, and do it early, in the first paragraph or two. Wait any longer than that and you risk losing or befuddling your audience.

Somewhere around that same time in any writing class I also write “AIM” on the flip chart. It stands for audience, intent (or impact) and message. Knowing your readers, you must make intent and message clear early. “Message” should be obvious to most of us, but before you can frame it unambiguously for your chosen audience, ask yourself what result you’re seeking -- answers to questions you pose, renewed emphasis on a project, a shift in emphasis, explanation of layoffs, an appeal for shorter emails, etc. Then you can back up your first couple grafs with relevant details.

One thing’s sure. If you don’t get to your point without rambling, your point may not hit home.

Building a Bridge To Somewhere

It’s called “bridging,” and it works. If you’re trying to get something out of media relations -- whether a press conference or an interview or even crisis communications -- you can’t expect the press to write it all down passively and turn it into a story. It’s their job to get you to talk about other things, pushing you “off message.”

When I did some communication skills training a couple years ago with the new CEO of a large VA hospital in the Midwest, we talked about bridging away from questions, such as politically loaded queries about veterans funding in DC that have little to do with her hospital. In some role-playing exercises, she tried out phrases that led her naturally back to her local message.

Examples:

• "What's important to remember, however..."
• "That's a good point, but I think you'd be interested in knowing..."
• "Let me put that in perspective for our hospital."
• "What that means is..."

See how that maintains a polite dialogue while gently steering things your way? In my reporting days, it all sounded like verbal sparring and I didn’t like it. But making a reporter happy isn’t your goal. Staying “on message” is what it’s all about.

Take care,
Dave

Rebirth of a Blog

Back and forth I’ve gone on all this “social media” business, and I’m a long way from making up my mind. Somehow the notion of “tweeting” hasn’t quite penetrated my thinking when it comes to serious and productive marketing. But I am reintroducing my blog. Why I let it slip I don’t know, but I do recall that it made for relaxed and stimulating conversation. Please join me at http://www.businesscommunications.wordpress.com, and react by sounding off on anything touching on business communications, presentation skills and writing skills, and all their promise and pitfalls. I'll continue to share what I know about the news media and how you can gain from press encounters, as well as writing and public speaking for success.